Living 2008

I haven’t blogged about Ms Rs birthday yet. Mostly because it was a really wonderful day and I know that my ability to recreate events into words won’t do the day justice. At the moment it is still colourful and animated. Once I write it down it will just be a list, black on white.

When I woke up she was curled up in my arms much the same way as she’s always slept with me. Amazingly despite having grown from a skinny 7lb baby to a rather tall five year old she still fits. It still surprises me three years on that Master R just doesn’t fit at all in my arms the same way she does, he never has. He and I have a far more complicated cuddle way of sleeping. Master R joined us for a four way waking up cuddle and then he and Ms R went downstairs to open her cards.

When we were all up Ms R opened her mountain of presents. She got some lovely stuff from her friends; books, things to make and paint, play-doh, ponies etc. A big Barbie horse and carriage from her cousins and some Baby Annabell bedding and bed canopy from us. Once Daddy had gone to work we set about putting the canopy up and new bedding on and it has transformed her room into a very pink place. Oh yes, there’s no hiding the fact we have a five year old girl living in this house. We took photos including lots of Baby Annabell appreciating it all.

We went off to Nanas house where we met my Mum. Master R recieved his pedalless bike as his present from my parents which took me a while to put together and Ms R got a box set of books from Nana as well as some big money in a card and a Baby Annabell sheep rocker from my parents. We all sang Happy Birthday to her so she could blow the candles out and then we removed two of the candles and repeated the process for Master R. She looked truely happy, it has been hard for her having the last birthday in a row of three and although she’s done lots of graciously giving presents and enthusiastically singing Happy Birthday she has had the odd moan to me about it.

Mum and Ms R went to the fish shop to buy fish, plants, backing picture and ornament while Master R and I dashed to the post office to collect a birthday parcel (from Viv). It felt nice to be on a mission with just Master R and we got home just minutes before they did. Ms R had chosen just two common goldfish, a yellowy-orange one and an orange one so we introduced them to the tank, had tea and admired presents.

After that we went swimming. Both children love swimming and have been asking to go for ages. Ms R wore her life-jacket thing so was completely independant in the water including jumping in. Master R took longer to feel confident but was jumping in and going under by the time we were ready to get out. When we’d finished in there we went to the shops to spend birthday money. Master R chose some cars and Ms R spent a long time sat on the floor with various Barbie combinations spread around her trying to choose which ones to buy. A single basic Barbie isn’t hugely expensive but she wanted a whole extended family of them and for some reason children and men are more expensive.

We dropped Mum home and then went home ourselves for dinner. Daddy came home in time for birthday cuddles and to hear about her day and she sat down with him while Master R had his story. Master R fell asleep quickly so we laid in her newly decorated bed together and watched her new fish swim around. She fell asleep just before the time she was born five years earlier. Interestingly this year is the first year I haven’t felt compelled to relive the pain and horror of her birth.

Ms R: I’m five

Master R: And I’m this many (holds up three fingers).

Ms R: He’s three.

Cashier: So you’re five then and he’s three?

Ms R: Yes. We’ve only just had our birthdays, just the other day. Look! Thats our treat (points at cheap crafty thing on conveyor belt).

Cashier: Are you buying that with your birthday pennies?

Ms R: Er…No. Mummy is buying it for us.

Cashier: So do you go to school?

At which point I completely turn my back to carry on unloading the shopping. I know that if the cashier looks at me I’ll feel compelled to answer and I’m really interested to hear how Ms R handles this. Plus I’ve got a silly grin on my face, we must really be properly officially home educating now if people are asking why we’re not at school.

Ms R: No.

Cashier: Not yet?

Ms R: No, I’m not ever going.

Master R: Me either.

Cashier: Never?

Ms R: No. Never ever (and then said in a growly voice with wild eyes) I’m never ever going to school.

Master R: (also in gowly voice and pulling grimacy face) I’m never ever going to school either.

Cashier: Uhm….Oh. (Very long pause) So is your Mummy teaching you at home then?

Ms R: (glances at me) No.

The kitten has settled extremely well. When I came home in the early hours of Sunday morning the outside temperature was minus two and I worried a little about how he would have coped first night without his Mum. I needn’t have worried though, I found him snuggled up under a duvet on the sofa and he was was all warm and cosy. He was happy to see me and started playing. Master R woke up and was delighted to find his kitten playing so we snuggled up in the duvet together to watch. When the kitten got tired he climbed up with us and snuggled down against Master R purring. Master R stroked Buzz and we all went back to sleep.

I’ve been encouraging the Rs to check his bowls and feed him if necessary whenever he goes to his feeding place, to stroke him while he eats and whenever he starts miaowing and to just watch him when he plays. A couple of times when he’s woken up to play they’ve carried him upstairs to play ‘vets’ and while I’m happy with the way he’s settling in I’m not sure he’s quite ready for games that involve "Quick, catch him. I need to tie this round his neck". I’ve been deliberately not handling him too much because I very much want him to be their cat and already that seems to be the case. If Master R is watching tv and Buzz is tired he will go and lay next to Master R. I think Master Rs yoghurty fingers have helped to speed up the bonding process. Ms R has been getting a little frustrated that Master R has exclusive rights to Buzz but I have managed to entice Master R away a couple of times for things like eating easter eggs in the bath so that she gets a whole Buzz cycle (eating, playing, sleeping) alone with the kitten and she’s really enjoyed that. It will be easier once she’s had her birthday and has new things to occupy her. We’ve filled the fish tank and put the relevant chemicals in. It looks very empty at the moment. The last couple of nights she’s stayed in her own bed until morning(ish) and I’ve been waking up with Master R besides me instead.

On Monday we boxed him up and took him to visit my Mum. The dog was hugely excited by the presence of another kitten. It was unknown a couple of months ago when my parents first got Lucky whether the dog was a kitten eater. Great care was taken to always separate them when no-one was home and everyone kept a close eye on them when they were both in the same room. As it’s turned out they are now best friends and play together in a very Tom and Jerry way. Often Luckys head is completely in the dogs mouth and just as often the cat is clung to his back having pounced from the table. Then when they get tired they curl up next to each other. I was surprised that Buzz wasn’t in the least bit concerned about this huge dog sniffing at him but I was surprised at Luckys reaction. Buzz seemed quite pleased to see another cat but Lucky put his hackles up, looked wide eyed and then ran away. A little bit later Lucky followed Buzz under the sofa and they both went to sleep. It was a success and we plan to do frequent visits. Mum thought that Buzz might be a little girl kitten, she talked about distances between holes and made speculations about that little line under his bottom. 

Lately we’ve been doing lots of spelling out of words because of birthdays and so now Ms R keeps either sounding our or spelling out words. She’s taken to calling me muh, uh, muh, muh, Y. and talking about the ker, ah, ter. She googled laz tan in an attempt to find the Lazy Town website which I though was quite clever. I’ve talked to her about using the names of letters rather than the sounds when spelling words out and she quite quickly told me the right letters for cat and when I told her that her birthday present was b,i,g she managed to work out what that meant. All this is very good but has an interesting side effect, Master R is trying to speak phonetically too. He’s been calling me mer, uhm, mee and asking for ber, eez, kits.

We went to the library today and chose books about kittens, goldfish and the environment. Ms R keeps asking me about the environment, she’s struggling to understand what it is and I’m struggling to explain it. We also got another book about going to the dentist but Master R is still adament that he is never going to open his mouth at the dentists.

Today we said good-bye to Master Rs beautiful ringlets. 

Suddenly his hair just looked too long and now that he is three we felt a big boys hair cut was in order. He still looks very cute and not a lot different from how it looked when it had just been washed and brushed. Maybe people will stop mistaking him for a girl.

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The day started before six, barely two hours after my yesterday had ended. I’d left some birthday cards downstairs for Master R to open so he and Ms R went down to do that. I could hear Ms R enthusiastically parenting him, saying things like "Ooh look thats a nice one, it’s got a fire engine on it. Lets see who it’s from…Ah, this ones from Nana" and "Wow, another three! You are a lucky boy. Umm, not sure what that says". I got up shortly after and the three of us did the whole card thing all over again. He got a badge which he was thrilled about because both Daddy and I have recently recieved badges (Mothers day and Daddys birthday).

We had some toast and when Daddy was up Master R opened his presents from Nana (a dinosaur DVD and some plastic dinosaurs), Viv (a cat DVD) and us (some wooden train track and accessories). We put a DVD in and set up the wooden track complete with dinosaurs while Daddy bathed. When Daddy was dressed he popped out to get the kitten and the Rs bathed.

I had pre-wrapped a box with birthday paper leaving a small opening for the kitten to be collected in, Daddy put the box on the floor for Master R and he peeped in grinning. I don’t think he realised quite what it was until Ms R lifted it out, it crouched terrified on the floor while both children stroked it and then ran and hid under the sofa. We set up a litter tray (or rather our improvised version of one) and some kitten food and dragged it out to show it. After a quick look it ran and hid in the box which it had arrived in.

To take our minds off of it we let Ms R open her birthday present from us.

At that point it was clear that the kitten obviously wasn’t going to entertain us for the morning so we took a drive over to the pet shop so that Master R could spend some birthday money and Ms R could buy some gravel for her fish tank. We were spoilt for choice over cat scratch posts and despite really liking a big one which would have taken all of the birthday money plus more we settled for a smaller one so that we could also buy toys and bowls.

Once home again we started getting ready for the party. There seemed to be loads of stuff to take over but eventually we were on our way. Despite hail and snow we made it in good time. The hall appeared to be all locked up so we waited for ages and just started to panic that maybe the caretaker wasn’t going to show up and that our friends would arrive to find there was no party. But then I realised that the door wasn’t actually locked, just a little stiff so we bullied our way in and started to make preparations. Our first friends arrived and helped with balloon pumping (thanks ) while the children compared party outfits. Master R wasn’t wearing a party dress and did at that point come to me in tears at being the odd one out and not having party clothes but was reassured when I pointed out that he was wearing his special favourite party t-shirt with the dinosaur on (which I currently have to wash and dry overnight or put up with him wearing dirty). More friends arrived and I made tea and coffee for everyone. I had a mental plan of how the party would work out and this included setting up a table for the food and all the children sitting around it eating at a time specified by me. However, as each child arrived they helped themselves to a sandwich or handful of crisps so the party meal descended into a buffet which was actually fine by me. The pass-the-parcel took on a similar autonomous pattern which although at the time I found slightly embarrasing (at my lack of ability to organise one simple party game) afterwards has me thinking that next year we won’t bother with the circle or the music. Why would I want to impose my rules on something as pleasurable to children as unwrapping something? No. Next year at the beginning of the party I’ll just yell "Here’s a well wrapped parcel! Anyone who wants to help upwrap it can take one layer off and then pass it on to someone else" and leave them to it. It kind of started off when I realised that the Lazy Town Boombox which really does sound quite loud in the confines of our lounge at home was barely audible in a large room full of people and then it took a turn in the other direction when I passed the pacel to Ms R and said "Here, you can start as you are the birthday girl" and so she ripped off the first layer before passing it on, it travelled along a few children before another child thought that he’d take a layer off so the adults who were humming and lalaing stopped until the parcel moved again. And this is how it worked, being passed around and stopping every so often to be unwrapped. The youngest party attendee, delighted to be sat in the circle and quite amused by the whole thing was the last child to have a turn at unwrapping and by some thankful twist of fate opened the last layer.

When it came to the cake thing all the children sat themselves around tables. Master R was mesmerised by his candles and was the quickest off the mark when it came to blowing them out. He said on the way home that he blew them out as quickly as he could as soon as the song finished because he didn’t want to get told off. He thought if he didn’t blow them out quick enough then the cake would get burnt and we’d be cross. Ms R has been asking for days if she could cut her own birthday cake, it is something that has seemed very important to her so we furnished her with a large shiny and recently sharpened knife and then stood back to take photos. Master R also wanted to cut his own cake but was a little more accepting of help. I had expected at that point for all the children to run off and play again while I carefully cut the birthday cakes into neat little squares to put into party bags, instead they sat there expectantly discussing with each other which cake they wanted a bit of. Ms R suddenly got extremely possesive about her cake wanting it to go into party bags, but not all of them, only the pink ones (I wonder if that explains why nearly all of the boys opted for pink party bags). So it was hacked into various shaped chunks and put boldly and descreetly into party bags.

It was a great party which we all enjoyed very much, thanks to everyone for helping it to run smoothly and making it special and thank-you everyone who helped to clear up. It really wasn’t expected.  

Once home we were pleased to see that the kitten had been out exploring. He was happy to see us and wandered around a bit although was quite jumpy. He has been named Buzz which was Master Rs choice from a list of suggestions. Master R was eager to open the presents from the party, it’s obvious that care and thought went into making and choosing them and he loved every single one. Ms R has saved hers for her birthday next week. My Mum popped round to see the kitten and give Master R a birthday kiss but didn’t stay long. We went to bed for a lovely new story about a kitten.

When I got back up I discovered the kitten bonding with Daddy, it had been climbing all over him and then it snuggled down under the duvet into his dressing gown and purred loudly. It had eaten some food and used the litter tray and I started to feel happier that it would settle with us.

 Master R was born by elective c-section and weighed 8lb 7oz.

 On his first birthday.

 Opening a card on his second birthday.

 Three years old!

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Going to bed the night before his third birthday. This is Master R, aged 2.

I’ve been feeling slightly nauseaus all day which I think is due to the excitement of birthdays and organising a party tomorrow without either my Mum or my best friend. My biggest fear is forgetting something like one of the birthday cakes, there not being enough food to go round or no-one wanting to play pass-the-parcel with Ms R.

Other than my nerves today could be put down as good example of a day of home education. Ms R got a pile of books and got Master R to choose one that she could read to him. I think he chose ‘Thats not my Dolly’ which is a touch feely book. I think it’s great that she wants to read stories to him and if she’s anything like I was with my little brother she’ll read to him lots.

There was lots of playing Nanny and Grandads and making a play area for the dolls to play in. Together we built the wooden train track and they played with that for ages while I sorted clothes. I think they also played with the plastic animals briefly. 

Ms R requested doing some of Education City so we all sat round the laptop and did a couple of activities which involved putting letters in order, identified by their sounds, to make three letter words. We’ve never done anything formal with words and letters although I have always associated the sound with the name of a letter if they’ve come up. Like ‘Thats an ’s’, it makes a ssss sound’ in just the same way I used to say ‘Thats a cow, cows say mooo’. So I was surprised that she found it so easy it was boring. Master R looked on quietly and I suspect that he was absorbing some of it.

We had a quick trip to Mums to collect some cards and gifts for Master R. When we came home Master R was asleep and Ms R requested we did some puzzles together. We whizzed through them, we haven’t progressed from simple toddler puzzles yet because she never seemed to get the hang of them before.

When Master R woke up we played with the video camera for a bit. I videoed them saying what they wanted for their birthdays, up until now Master R hasn’t known and Ms R has mostly said toys. On the video camera Master R said he wanted a DS and Ms R said she wanted a pony. Oh dear.

While I cooked dinner the Rs watched tv. Ms R likes to flick through the channels on the way to Cbeebies and today stopped at what I think might have been a High School Musical movie. She watched it and imitated some of the dance moves. They both ate two dinners, maybe we missed lunch. And now we’re going to go to bed and have stories.

Tomorrow is Master Rs third birthday.

Today was Daddys birthday. In our pre-birthday discussion it was decided that he’d have presents and cards after work rather than before.

Ms R was still in her own bed when Master R woke this morning so he climbed in, snuggled up and went back to sleep which was really nice. When Ms R did arrive she managed to climb over us and squash in the middle. Just as I was dozing back off again she started trembling and said in a voice shaky with excitement "Mummeeee, it’s Daddys birthday today" so I quickly whispered that it was but he stilll needed to wake up quietly so she woke Master R up and they went downstairs to watch Cbeebies.

After Daddy had gone to work we all had a bath and then popped round to see my parents. The Rs helped to clean the little conservatory and feed Lucky the (starting-to-look-like-a-proper-cat) kitten. Both my parents had plans so we went home again to finish off Daddys birthday cake and decorate Maste Rs while he slept, Ms R helped and was quite interested in how the ingredients tasted after being mixed together compared with before. When he woke up he used the rest of the smarties to finish decorating it disguising my carefully laid out with smarties number three. He is thrilled with his cake and kept asking to look at it again. We ate lunch together and watched the end of ‘Walking with Beasts’ and the beginning of ‘Stop! Police’. Ms R keeps asking to watch ‘The Big Cat Series’ so I must look out for something similar.

I did some more tidying (does it ever end?) and put a couple of things on Freecycle and then suggested we went round to the garages to ride bikes and scooters not knowing it was raining. We went despite the rain and I took the stabilizers off of Ms Rs bike and pushed her round for a bit. She’d have liked to stay out longer but it was cold and wet. Master R likes playing on her old scooter.

I phoned the man about our kitten to confirm when we would collect it. He thinks it is male but isn’t 100% sure.

Ms R played with her dolls house, carefully redesigning rooms and then moved on to her married Barbie couple playing out a scene where they went for a walk together, kissed, fell in love and then Barbie taught the man how to fly. It’s the first time she’s ever done the kissing and love thing, or played with Barbies.

Daddy was really late home but the Rs stayed up so they could give him cards and presents. Ms R carried his cake in to show him and led us in a chorus of Happy Birthday.

One birthday down, two to go.

Yesterday we took a trip along the coast as we had a parcel to collect. It happened to be right near where Nana used to live with Dick after they retired and before he died. So we parked by the park that was at the end of their garden and the Rs played whilst I reminisced about our Sunday visits there, the games my brother and I played and thought in amazement about how lucky we were to be able to roam so far. My brother and I would wander along to the end of the green and come out at the back of the castle which had all sorts of exciting bushes, rocks, trees with low branches, hills and valleys to play in. For a few years there were also two very little shetland ponies tethered and we used to play with them too. The Rs and I walked along the lane passing The Old School House 1896 and entering the very large beautiful church which was originally built in the early 1200s. Lots of history there which mostly went over our heads but both children very much enjoyed looking at the stained glass windows and other churchy things that we’re not too familiar with. We were in there for a while before they started itching with the temptation to run around and climb the bell ropes so then we wandered along to the Roman fort to look at the medieval castle. There were little pillars with information on which we read and talked about, Ms R was really interested in it all and seemed to keep waiting for me to tell her more, unfortunately I didn’t really know anymore. At one point she said it felt like a dream because she couldn’t really believe that once it was really a proper castle and people lived here. It’s history is quite fascinating so I think I must look out for some re-enactment dvd’s.  

Master R mentioned how lovely the kittens were that we’d seen the day before and asked if we might be allowed to see them again. He thought we could take my Mum and Lucky because Lucky would just love to play with all those little friends.

Today when we woke up Ms R wanted to read me a story. She offered me a choice of three and eager not to appear too pushy I opted for the picture book without words. So she removed that option from the list of choices because she thought I’d enjoy a more grown-up book instead and then chose a Peter & Jane book for me. It was the first one and she read it all the way through. She was very proud of herself and pointed out a couple of times that she read it all the way through and it only took her five minutes. Then Master R wanted to read it to me but got cross because he didn’t know the words so she sat by him and helped him to read by whispering the words into his ear. So she actually read it twice.

Then we popped in to see Nana. Ms R read the book to her and she was suitably impressed. Back home I attempted to make two birthday cakes. They’ve come out the right shape (one square, one round) but don’t look all light, fluffy and moist. More like a brick. I’m guessing it’ll be the sort of sponge that tastes better with custard but am hoping to disguise it well with brightly coloured icing. The children only eat the icing anyway.

I nearly let slip to Master R about the kitten. I said that maybe next week we’ll invite friends round rather than going out and he started complaining so I said "Well I’m sure you’ll want to show them your kitten". Ms R jumped on me and pulled all sorts of faces and Master R said "But we don’t have a kitten" and I quickly said "I meant your white cat" meaning the soft toy that we found and played with earlier. So Master R agreed and started listing other soft toys that he could share with his friends and Ms R gave me the thumbs up sign. Wish I could get that kitten out of my head.

We saw our friends at the farm. There were some younger cows in pens who all got up and came to look at us, Master R tried to feed them hay but they were quite shy. One licked his coat though and took the hay so he was really pleased. The soft black yard cats followed us around again so he delighted in that. Everytime he beckoned it went to him and rubbed itself all over him. And he fed a polo to a pony which he enjoyed. Ms R started with her hand over her nose but I sat her on a hay bale and went off with Master R and when I came back her hand had left her face and she was chatting away to our friends. They both enjoyed playing with the young girl. Ms R suggested that the young girl pretend to be a young girl so that she could be the Mummy and Master R wanted to be her Daddy and then they all walked along hand in hand. It was very cute.

Ms R very often knows what she wants for her birthday or Christmas. For her fifth birthday she wants a fish tank with a goldfish or two and some Baby Annabell stuff. Between us and my parents those boxes have been ticked. She’ll recieve her fish tank on Master Rs birthday because everyone tells me that you mustn’t put fish in the same day that you fill it up. In a way it’ll be like a double present, she’ll get to open it and set it up on his birthday and then get to buy and introduce the fish on her birthday. On her birthday she’ll get the Baby Annabell accessory from my parents, a trip to the pet shop to choose some fish and any other little presents that might come her way.

Master R has yet to think of something that he really wants which has made him a little harder to choose for. I’m confident that we’ve got enough age appropriate rarely touched plastic that he won’t be considered deprived if we don’t add to it so we’ve tried to think of something else. He’s always been extremely soppy about animals, cats in particular, and the recent addition of Lucky to my parents family has highlighted just quite how much he gets from them. Each and everytime he sees the kitten his face lights up and he melts over it. So after much thought and discussion Daddy and I finally ageed that a kitten would be the ideal present for him. It will occupy him far more than any toy we can think of and it won’t take up much space. The fleas and vets bills will by far be outweighed by the look on his face. Unfortunately this time of year kittens aren’t in abundance, or at least kittens that we can afford that are within an hours drive. I’ve spent the last two weeks checking such online places as the Friday Ad, Freeads, Gumtree several times a day and have called in to numerous pet shops and veterinary surgeries. Yes, I’ve also contacted various rescue centers too none of whom have kittens right now (and Daddy is insistent that we get one young). Until this evening. Having just sat the Rs down to their dinner I snuck another quick look on the internet and saw an advert for kittens at a price less than we budgeted for just five minutes down the road. I phoned up and the guy that answered was telling me most surprised that he already had six lots of people on their way and the furthest was coming from two hours away. I told him we were just down the road and would be there in five minutes, grabbed the Rs without even bothering with shoes and sped along to his house. There were only three kittens available and he plonked them on a table in front of us. I asked Ms R which one she liked best and she nodded at the one I’d already chosen so I picked it up and squatted down to show Master R. He went all soppy and stroked it gingerly while saying he wished we could have one. Ms R and I loudly wished too just to keep up the charade while I passed some money back to the guy and he clearly marked the kittens tail to show that it had been reserved. I put the kitten down and quietly discussed collecting it on the morning of Master Rs birthday which he was fine about and when I glanced over the kitten was crouched down next to his Mum eating with Master R crouching down behind it kissing its back. We thanked the guy for letting us see his kittens and left. Master R doesn’t seem to have any inkling of what really went on as he was too busy cooing over fluff. He won’t believe his eyes when it arrives on his birthday.

It’s been ten days since I’ve blogged. We’ve been doing things pretty much as normal with visits to friends, family, home ed groups, shops and library.

A couple of things I really wanted to note were Master Rs drawing and Ms Rs reading:

• A few days ago Master R wanted to draw his face, he drew a circle shape and then drew an ear each side, he put a squiggley dot in the middle for a nose and then got distracted. A few minutes later he went back to it and drew two smaller circles for eyes, admittedly they were below the nose but it was still very clearly a toddler drawn face. He added a smile that went right across the whole paper and a line across the top of the head for hair. It’s a beautiful picture and quite clearly meant to be a face (he says it’s a picture of him). I’m not sure what age other childrens drawing start to be recognisable but I don’t think Ms R started drawing smiley faces until she was four. He is still two.

• The other night as I was reading Ms R a chapter of her book she was muttering away to herself with her nose buried in a Peter and Jane book so I put the book down and asked if she wanted to read her book instead. She seemed quite pleased with that idea, as though it was something I might not normally allow. I asked if she was going to start at the beginning but she turned the first few pages over saying she’d already done those ones, and then she read. The story was along the lines of playing in a boat and she surprised me by knowing words like ‘play’ and ‘boat’. She didn’t know ‘please’ so I told her the first time and then she knew the next time she came across it. Interestingly she only read the first two sentences on each page. Now I could see at a glance that all the words are used once in the first couple of sentences and then repeated in different combinations through the rest of that page, I’m not sure if this is why she only read the first bit or if it was because she was eager to get on to the next page. It’s amazing to think that she can pick up a book and read some of it without having to have painstakingly worked through the whole reading scheme page by page, day by day. It sort of feels like she should have done x amount of lessons and reading practice (out loud to a prompting adult) to be able to do what she can do. It’s not really surprising to me that when she is looking at a book she is recognising words and letter patterns and managing to decipher whole sentences but must sound quite unbelievable to people who think children need to be ‘made to learn’. It’s also enlightening to think that she can do ‘reading practice’ without having to read out loud, already I can see that it means I’ll never have to endure listening to her stumble across words that she’s not interested in reading. I think reading the younger books to Master R first really helps her with recognising and remembering words as the writing is larger and less per page which makes it easier for her to follow. With some of the more repetitive books she reads on through my pause-for-effect moments which infuriate Master R. She is still four.

We had yet another morning of play.

Late afternoon we dropped Ms R at my Mums to spend a couple of hours. Master R and I made scones with sultanas in which we scoffed most off while they were still warm. Ms R came home just after we went to bed.

Thanks Allie

Twelve years ago me:

LOCATION: A remote farm at the foot of the Drakensburg mountains. 

CHILDREN: No. 

JOB: Stable Employee and general slave. 

TRANSPORT: Battered (by me) and ancient green Ford Escort

EMPLOYEES: None.

FAVE DRINK: Alcohol

LOVE INTEREST: Colin

CONTRACEPTION: Pill

WISH FOR FUTURE: To leave that farm.

SPONSORS: None

HAIR: Long, always tied back

UNDERWEAR: None

FAVE OUTFIT: Shorts and t-shirts.

Nine years ago me:

LOCATION: Kwazulu Natal, South Africa. 

CHILDREN: No. 

JOB: Assistant Trainer. 

TRANSPORT: Ford Bantam

EMPLOYEES: Part time maid.

FAVE DRINK: Alcohol

LOVE INTEREST: Colin

CONTRACEPTION: None

WISH FOR FUTURE: None, life was perfect. Well, maybe a little more money.

SPONSORS: My boss sponsored my alcohol consumption, I also chauffeured him so it’s pretty amazing we’re both still alive.

HAIR: Long, mostly tied up

UNDERWEAR: None

FAVE OUTFIT: Short red skirt, blouse and black blazer. Anything smart enough for the races.

Six years ago me:

CHILDREN: No. 

JOB: Senior Track Rider 

TRANSPORT: MRT (trains) and taxis

EMPLOYEES: Occasional maid.

FAVE DRINK: Iced Milo

LOVE INTEREST: Colin

CONTRACEPTION: Pill

WISH FOR FUTURE: To be nearer my family.

SPONSORS: None

HAIR: Medium long

UNDERWEAR: Boxers by Jockey

FAVE OUTFIT: Less was best.

Three years ago me:

LOCATION: South of England 

CHILDREN: One toddler and one due. 

JOB: WHSmith sales assistant 

TRANSPORT: Family car

EMPLOYEES: None.

FAVE DRINK: Water

LOVE INTEREST: Colin

CONTRACEPTION: Pregnancy/breastfeeding

WISH FOR FUTURE: To have a home and to not have to share my child with ‘outsiders’. Sleep.

SPONSORS: Tax credits, child benefits etc.

HAIR: Long, always tied up

UNDERWEAR: Hip huggers

FAVE OUTFIT: Anything that went round.

Now me:

LOCATION: South of England

CHILDREN: Two. 

JOB: Full time Mummy and part time shelf stacker. 

TRANSPORT: Family car.

EMPLOYEES: None.

FAVE DRINK: Water, coffee, red bull

LOVE INTEREST: Colin

CONTRACEPTION: No longer able.

WISH FOR FUTURE: Sunshine, health and happiness for all.

SPONSORS: Tax credits, child benefits etc

HAIR: Haphazardly chopped but growing.

UNDERWEAR: Brightly coloured womens briefs.

FAVE OUTFIT: Anything clean.

Ironically, after reading this article yesterday on the importance of imaginative play the Rs engaged in such play for hours while I stood by ready and waiting to begin our day. Every so often I’d try to break into their world to suggest activities such as getting dressed, eating, going out etc and while they’d both stop what they were doing to answer me almost as soon as they’d finished speaking the confines of reality would once again disolve around them taking me with it. They spent the morning in just their underwear playing Nanny and Grandads (one of their favourites), LazyTown, Doctors (which involved giving me playing cards aka money in exchange for cars aka medicine in order to make each other better). They also went to the fair and rode various things (like a laundry basket and a cot mattress) down the stairs. When I offered lunch they looked at me like I was completely mad. Eventually I had to drag them back into reality so that we could take ourselves to the post office where they had five pence each for sweets and melted the hearts of other customers as Ms R carefully helped Master R choose and count his sweets.

We fetched my Mum from work and went in for a chat. Mum did a far better job of explaining about people with severe learning disabilities in words that we could all understand. Ms R asked if she could meet some of them and my Mum said that if she could organise it then Ms R could talk to the ones who talk and Ms R said she would talk to the ones who couldn’t talk as well.

We left Master R with Mum to visit Nana and Ms R requested that her and I went for a bike ride. It was cold and a bit windy but Ms R still enjoys sitting on the back and surprisingly we manage to chat while I cycle. It’s good exercise for me. When we collected Master R he was happy to see us but didn’t think he’d done anything despite Mum telling us that they’d done loads.

They were both exhausted by bedtime and fell asleep almost instantly.

The Rs joined me in bed this morning and Ms R wanted me to read ‘The Snowman’ by Raymond Briggs, as it doesn’t have any words in it I suggested she ‘read’ it to me from the pictures, which she did. After she finished I thanked her and said it was nice to be read to instead of always being the reader so she said she’d read me another book, she came back a moment later with Peter and Jane 2a and read it to me fluently even putting on a cross voice when Pat the Dog was trying to get the fish. I was really surprised and other than asking after a couple of words she new them all. She was reading it fast enough that often the sentence would unravel without her realising she’d read a new word, then at the end of the page she’d go back and ask if that new word said what she thought it did.

Grandparents day.

Master R seriously needed a hair wash and de-matting, for a while I thought I might even have to cut a chunk of his hair off. In the bath he floated with my hands barely supporting him and when I gently lowered my hands he remained floating. He wanted to stay in and try on his own when I got out but lifted his legs up and his head went under.

Ms R wrote ‘Grandma and Great Grandad’ at the top of a piece of paper and then drew them underneath with lots of presents. She folded the paper in half and wrote ‘To Grandma and Great Grandad from [her name]’ and then placed it in an envelope and wrote on that too. It was all very neat and she’s started writing lower case ds now, it seems she’s moving to lower case letters one at a time. I’ve also noticed how straight her writing is getting despite never having written on lines, I suppose if you’ve never had lines to write on then you never learn to rely on them. I struggle to write straight without lined paper. It was very good writing and drawing and my grandparents were suitably impressed. Grandad commented that she was doing really well and that she’ll have a head start when she starts school. He and Master R played ball again loads.

We went to my parents house for lunch. Sometimes they’re hungry and we all have lunch, sometimes it doesn’t occur to them until the children ask. Master R completely and accurately relayed the whole floating story to my Mum and she said it was the first time that he’s told her a whole long story about something that has happened to him. Ms R played on the Thomas website while my Master R helped my Dad to unload the dishwasher for which Dad gave him twenty pence for. Ms R raced in and asked for some money too but was disappointed with twenty pence so he exchanged it ten two pences. Even though after a bit of counting and working out she realised that it was still the same amount she felt that she had done well. Master R also exchanged his for two pence pieces as well which meant for the rest of the day they were jingling and dropping money.

We dropped Mum off at work and as we were early and all the children were still at school we went in for ten minutes. The Rs had a quick play in the soft play room and then laid on the heated water bed admiring the twinkly lights in the sensory room. If you were a child with special needs and you had to live in an institution then that would be a very nice place to live. On the way home Ms R was asking why she couldn’t live there and I was trying to explain about children with severe learning disabilities but probably wasn’t doing a great job.

We visited a school friend after school hours for games of hide-and-seek and cups of coffee. Home ed wasn’t really mentioned but school was, it seems that where you buy uniform is an important factor and that even in Year 1 body image is a concern. The time flew by and our intended hour turned into two.

We can’t for the life of us think of what to get Master R for his birthday. Our garden isn’t big enough for outside toys, he has use of Ms Rs outgrown scooter and bike on the rare occasions that we go round to the garages and his room is full of toys which get very little use so Daddy and I have agreed to get him a kitten. It is something that he will hugely appreciate as he is mad about cats and it marks an important milestone in our family home life. It’s the first time in the five years that we’ve been back in England and been a family that we have felt settled enough to get a pet.

Oh we did so much today.

We visited the little (soon to be not anymore) post office to post a letter and buy penny sweets. As I was queueing to post the letter Ms R helped Master R with sweet counting, not sure why but she told him before he paid that he might have change and he did. It was lucky really because she overspent by a penny and when the lady told her Ms R just froze on the spot looking mortified. Thankfully Master R raced over with one of his pennies.

For some reason the conversation on the way to home ed group turned (once again) towards marriage and babies. Ms R really wants to marry one of her cousins because she doesn’t want to marry any of the boys that we know and she really really doesn’t want to marry a stranger. I explained that in mine and Daddys case we started out as friends and just got more and more friendly until we ended up married which seemed to reassure her. She then decided that there was a female friend she’d be happy to marry but wanted to know if she’d be able to have babies if she married a lady so I explained that she probably would be able to have babies but would require the help of a man. Master R then wanted to know if he married the said friends brother if he’d still be able to have babies. I explained to him (once again!) that he’d need a lady to grow his baby for him and he said that maybe Nanny would do it as she was good at growing things. I don’t know why or how we get into these conversations and I really try not to offer fuel for more questions when answering them. Whatever next?

The home ed group was good, we all played with playdoh for a bit and then went into the hall for a drama session. Both the Rs seemed quite into it but I needed the toilet and took the opportunity to make an important phonecall, Ms R couldn’t stay in without me. She wanted to do the drama but needed me to be in there with her. She knows the venue and the adults and the children yet still she couldn’t join in without me being there too. It’s perfectly inline with who she is and wasn’t unexpected although as she now appears so confident in so many areas I half thought she’d stay. Master R did stay for a while but when he noticed that we’d left he came to make sure he wasn’t missing out.

After the group we popped by to see my Dad, he was very welcoming and chatted to the children. Ms R found a scratch card and was looking at it with him and telling him how much he could have won if he’d got three of other things reading numbers like twenty pounds and seventy pounds and knowing that seventy was more than twenty which isn’t something we’ve done heaps of. She then settled down with a piece of paper and pen and wrote Mummy and her name underneath, then she told me how many letters her name had, how many mine had and how many they were different by. I’m guessing that seeing her do this sort of stuff is very reassuring for my Dad that she isn’t missing out educationally by not going to school and I just love that she does it in front of him. If there’s anyone in the world I want to impress then it’s my Dad.

We left Dad for the library to return most of many books. I try to set a one book rule but they always find another and another that they just have to have. We seem to be choosing quite well lately. Master R chose Library Lion by Michelle Knudsen which I absolutely fell in love with, it was so sweet that I was struggling to keep my voice steady as I read it and I’m not usually such a softy! Together we chose a childrens non-fiction book about foxes which we all enjoyed, it sort of backs up what we’re reading about in The Children of Cherry Tree Farm and will hopefully reassure Ms R that foxes don’t eat people. I picked a first experiences book about visiting the dentist in the hope that it will encourage Master R to open his mouth next time we go and he was very interested in that and there were a couple of other books which we haven’t read yet.

Thursday we met a friend to feed the ducks. It was great although a little drizzly so we ate lunch in friends car.

Friday we met our Friday friends at (yet another) indoor play area.

Saturday Daddy was off work, he got up before me to breakfast the Rs. Ms R played a computer game for a bit but abandoned that after a short while in preference of writing. She’s asked for a Nintendo DS for her birthday which she won’t be getting just yet. I’ve said we might consider it for Christmas but I’m hoping she’ll have forgotton about it by then. At the moment she fills gaps by counting things, writing words or trying to work out what things say. 

Master R fell asleep with Daddy so Ms R and I took the opportunity to go for a cycle on my new (to me) bike. She loved sitting on the back and my confidence grew as we went. She pointed lots of things out and asked lots of questions relating to things like house numbers and rules of the road, answering wasn’t easy in my state of breathlessness but it was nice to have new conversation matter. She never mentioned the hedgehog but I asked if she was alright after cycling round it and she yes in a remorseful kind of way. I liked feeling the wind in my hair even though that was due more to weather conditions than peddle power.

Sunday I was woken up at lunchtime by excited children bearing cards and gifts. Master R wished me a "Happy Mothers Birthday" and they both helped to open the cards and gifts at far greater speeds than I could have managed on my own.