Living 2008

A morning at home to play. They switched the television off and played all over the house, they set up a ‘holiday’ in Ms Rs bedroom involving all their bedding, all of Master Rs clothes and plenty of toys. They did play-doh in the kitchen. They ate loads. Master R had cereal, two boiled eggs and a bowl of fruit for breakfast but then lunchtime came and went without mention of food.

Ms R gave me two notes, one said ’sit here’ and the other said ‘Playskool’ and then she asked me what they said.

In the afternoon we popped out for bread and milk. We tried to visit the library as we very often do on a Wednesday afternoon and as is always the case it was closed. We visited the penny sweet shop and I gave them twenty pence each, telling them if they only spent ten pence then they’d have ten pence for next week and they were both happy with that. We popped into my parents house to find everyone out but Master R tore up a sheet of paper for Lucky the kitten to play with and Ms R found some paper and drew a family picture with lots of presents. Once home they emptied out their piggy banks which are surprising full considering that we never give them any money, I spotted a few gold coins and descreetly rehomed them. We talked about how to recognise English coins and Ms R made piles of same coins.

Ms R told me that three fives are fifteen, she said she knew because she counted on her hands. It’s interesting that she thinks about these things and lovely that she tells me of her discoveries.

When Ms R was two I wondered how anybody ever had any time for educating. What with the preparing and feeding of three meals a day, snacks, assisted toilet trips sometimes requiring complete outfit changes and impromptu naps there didn’t seem to be any time left for anything else. As she’s got older and manages eating, dressing, toilet trips etc herself the windows of opportunity have become longer and more frequent. However there are still days when I over-estimate our windows and under-estimate the time needed just to meet their basic needs. Today was one such day with me bouncing through having finished the boring stuff (tidying up and putting some washing on) and announcing that we had a whole hour to fill before we were due to leave for my grandparents. I suggested that if we left now we could do a library trip on the way or that there was time for a quick bike ride. It was met with requests for help to finish breakfasts, the need for a running commentary so that Master R could get dressed all by himself (which he did, socks, pants, everything and he was so proud he told everyone we saw) and then help with shoes, brushing hair, etc. That was our hour gone and felt to me a bit like a lost opportunity. I can honestly say that there is no way I’d cope with getting children to school everyday.

My grandparents were thrilled to see us. In the usual stereotypical way Grandad played ball and then rough n’ tumble with Master R making him giggle and Ms R sat down to do stuff with Grandma. First she made her do some mini aquadraw mats and then they played Trumps (Endangered Speices) together. I made them both look at our holiday photos.

On the way home the Rs decided they’d like round eggs and eggcups for lunch (as opposed to flat eggs) so we stopped off at the butcher shop and brought a whole tray. For some reason eggs look more appealing in a cardboard tray than in a plastic box, thats how they came when I was a child and they seemed to get just as much pleasure out of choosing their own as I used to. The had boiled eggs and soldiers and then crushed the shells into the end of our garden.

We visited my parents and took my Mum to B&Q to buy some bathroom furnishings. Ms R wanted to go somewhere ‘fun’ (meaning somewhere artificial and expensive) and I told her that there wasn’t anywhere suitable close because all the children her age are in school during the week and she replied very indignantly "Well why don’t they think about the home educated children?"

The sun was shining so back at my parents house the children played on the trampoline and I followed Mum around her garden and greenhouse admiring all the new life. It freshly inspired us and we raced home to plant carrot seeds and two potatoes. I put the old coffee table glass over the top. I’m eager not to get so left behind this year; last year we planted our potatoes too late, our sunflowers didn’t bloom until December and our Christmas amarylis has only just flowered. Afterwards Master R informed me that he’d picked off the green bits that were on his potatoe before planting it, I’m not sure if it’s worth waiting and seeing or if I should just dig it up straight away.

Master R is still enjoying Six Dinner Sid by Inga Moore. Ms R and I have now finished My Naughty Little Sister by Dorothy Edwards and she’s asked if we can get a sequel. We are now reading The Children of Cherry Tree Farm by Enid Blyton which is a great hit, she’s already asked when we can go to see the lambs being born (despite hating it last year) and we’ve had lots of discussions already about things like the difference between rabbits and hares, frogspawn and the way foxes sniff a trail etc and we’ve only just started.

Why doesn’t it save my post if I click on a link??? Tried to add more categories and lost the bloody lot. Grrrrr.

Saturday we shopped in the morning and visted Nana in the afternoon to show her the holiday photos. The Rs made rice krispie cakes with very little help from me, Ms R had been asking for ages so I told her when out shopping to get what she needed for them and she did.

Sunday we all went out with my brother and the cousins. It was great to see all four children running around playing together and nice to have reached the stage where we can have a day out without tears from anybody. I’ve yet to see Cousin Cs behavioural problems, it seems they’re mostly triggered by stuff that happens at school but despite this he is still doing well and was only the fifth child in his class to recieve a certificate for knowing the alphabet.

On the way home we stopped off and picked up a freecycle gift. A bike with a childseat on the back. By the time we got it home I was already feeling guilty about it and was sure I wouldn’t be able to use it but after a little practice today round by the garages I’ve fallen in love with it. The childseat is big enough for Ms R so I tried with her first and was surprised how easy it was, I expected it to be hard with extra weight on the back. Master R cried when it was his turn, said he was really frightened but by the time I’d strapped him in he was smiling and he enjoyed the ride too. Our journey speed will be dictated by Ms Rs peddle power and I quickly realised that what seems fast when I’m running along behind is actually very slow when I’m on a bike with huge wheels. She already looks too big for her bike which was on the large side when we got it last summer. I’ve spoken to her about taking the stabilisers off as we’ve seen same aged friends ride without them but she’s not sure yet.

Today we met with someone I knew from school. She has a daughter in school who was having an inset day and all three children went off to play really nicely while we had a catch up. Interestingly about half way through the visit after she’d mentioned a bullying incident she asked how I thought Ms R would cope with bullies when she did eventually go. I always find peoples very first question on the subject interesting. As we’d both been in a similar position at school, both felt that we were heaps more confident as adults and both blamed our previous lack of confidence on being in school then it was easy to agree that maybe starting later as a self assured, self respecting child would be easier than having started when she was shy and easily intimidated.

It’s the last day of our holiday and we all feel ready to come home. Master R is most looking forward to seeing my parents dog and kitten, Ms R is looking forward to seeing everybody. I’m all inspired to learn a new language, it’s an inspiration that comes frequently and will probably be forgotton as the plane touches down.

We’ve enjoyed chatting to the entertainers. Five of them were hand picked from a UK dance school, another is from Italy and divides her year between here and Greece, we keep bumping into them in the ladies which is how we know so much about them. Ms R is on first name terms with all of the Kids Club adults despite only officially attending for a grand total of fifteen minutes one morning. She sits as close to the stage as she can while the shows are on and last night the number one male dancer winked at her half way through. It was a story told through Abba songs and dances and during one song money was thrown in the air, Ms R managed to collect some of it up and tried to give it back at the end. She’s enjoyed watching the scene changes and working out when songs are being mimed and when they are really being sung. Both the Rs dance on stage for the kids disco.

Master R continues to eat, I think he is growing taller but not fatter. I’m not sure how he’s going to cope with not having a cooked breakfast every day when we get home. Ms R keeps telling me things like "Five and two make seven" and spelling out simple words for me like ‘fun’.

In the same way that Ms R took her first tentative steps ever such a long time ago before flopping to her bottom leaving me wondering whether they had been enough to warrant being recorded as walking, today she sort of swam her first strokes. After a morning at the beach and lunch by the pool she found herself waist deep in water without her floaty jacket thing. She waded around a bit and suddenly jumped forward splashing wildly for a couple of seconds before sinking. She came up looking a bit shocked at having completely submerged and once she’d got past feeling sorry for herself she was at it again. Time and time again she threw herself into the water and managed to stay above water long enough for me to think it might be worth logging as ’swimming’. I’m not sure what advice or help to offer, I did try showing her how I do my arms with every intent on walking backwards and forwards next to her while she practiced but she wasn’t interested in that, she was only interested in launching herself forwards and staying up as long as possible before touching down and trying again. I’m very proud of her, I was twenty before I’d got to the stage she’s at now.

Today Ms R asked about where the first baby came from. I briefly ran through the ‘Adam and Eve’ theory and the evolution theory and when she fell quiet afterwards I assumed I’d said enough. But then she started asking questions like "But what is God?" and making statements like "I remember being a baby but I don’t remember being a monkey". So I’ll be looking for a book to help with that once we get home.

Yesterday we went for a ride in a horse drawn carriage which was a new experience for all of us, felt like we should be getting married or something.

Otherwise our holiday continues with sunshine, swimming, eating and sleeping.

We had an interesting moment going through security at the airport. As we were in the queue to put our bags throught the x-ray machine I pointed out to Ms R and Master R the screens for the opposite conveyor and we watched, trying to work out the contents of other peoples hand luggage in a peeping Tom kind of way. Then suddenly a gun showed up on the screen in the middle of one bag. Colin and I looked at each other in astonishment and then back at the screen. The security man sat at the desk drew a square around the gun and hit the delete button, and then it was gone. We stood there gaping, expecting alarms to ring and lights to flash. And then we got prodded and told to put our bags through, so we did. And that was that.

We’re staying in a beautiful hotel. Ms R is doing loads of swimming wearing a floaty jacket type of thing. She’s discovered she can do backstroke but spends most of her time going down the slides.

Master R has a love for fish (the eating kind) and is consuming copious amounts of fish and fruit. He keeps referring to home as ‘the old house’. Ms R is a dab hand with a knife and fork now and despite never having had meals at a table at home their table manners are excellent and we sit for a good hour at most meals. Master R was initially a bit shocked at the prospect of no Cbeebies during dinner.

We have a massive bed and decided on the first night that it was just easier to all sleep together so have all been sleeping really well.

The evening entertainment is excellent and Master R has decided he wants to be a dancer when he grows up. He’s been impressing all the older holidaymakers with his twirls and jumps.

A day of waiting and excitement.

We did things like take the rubbish to the tip and fill the car with petrol. We visited the post-office to post a couple of letters and to buy penny sweets. Ms R happened to have more than ten pence so sneakily spent that too.

We visited my parents to play with the kitten, eat lunch and say good-byes and then returned home for more packing.

As the Rs were tired we aimed for an early night but Ms R couldn’t sleep and is still up now. Every time she looks like she’s almost asleep she jerks awake exclaiming "Only one more sleep!" Hopefully Master R will sleep well, last night he kept waking up shouting things in a very angry voice. One time it was "Get me some crisps. NOW!" and another "I want you Mummy". Not sure what it was all about as he usually sleeps great.

Today has been a day of washing clothes, tidying up and packing in preparation for our holiday next week. We’ve looked up a few spanish words which the children have been practicing on each other. They are really interested in new words and aren’t at all self-conscious about trying them. We had a shopping trip for last bits and the only thing we seem to be short of now is underwear.

We recieved delivery of more e-bay parcels but otherwise did very little in the morning.

In the afternoon we met up with a couple of friends from home-ed group. It’s the third time in a seven days that we’ve seen them and it’s really interesting watching the friendships develop. There doesn’t seem to be any specific pairings and they play in every combination possible. Potatoe printing was laid on followed by lovely home made scones and then some outdoor play involving bicycles, trikes and scooters. It was an excellent afternoon.

Was a two year old day. We met up with both our friends with two year olds who are likely to be home educated. Our host naturally falls into nursery nurse position and fairly quickly had all the children organised around a table for painting. I drank coffee and got a grilling from an elderly relative about the usual stuff (qualifications needed to home educate, what if a child is gifted, GCSEs, what if your child never learns to read, how to know what to teach etc) plus a comment about how the government will really have to start monitoring it properly as it’s getting so popular  which had me speachless for long enough that she must have assumed that I agree. I waffled on quite a lot and I’m not sure I actually offered her any reassurance when in hindsight I could have probably answered every question by explaining that a home educated child can rejoin the school system at any time and will catch up fairly quickly. After the painting play-doh was offered, lunch and drinks were provided and our artwork bagged up for us to take home with us.

We visited Mum for a second lunch (yes, my children really do eat two lunches, and usually two breakfasts as well) and then went on to the library to admire a display by a local home educated child and of course, to choose an armful of books.

We started reading My Naughty Little Sister by Dorothy Edwards which I remember my Mum reading to me. It’s a lot simpler to follow than some of our recent ones but just as interesting. The narrater often asks questions like "Do you know what she did?" and Ms R always answers which is quite amusing, I’m not sure if she thinks I’m asking them or is just so caught up in the story. We also re-read Six Dinner Sid by Inga Moore as Master Rs choice.

Another number day. For some reason Ms R always wants to know about numbers when I’m driving. They are always question that lead to base ten style answers which really need to be demonstrated with something. Pennies and ten pences would probably work as she understands them. Today she wanted to know why the zero after the one made it ten and not just a one with a nothing after it. I’ve been talking about things in terms of how many tens they are ("Fifty pence, thats five lots of ten pences you know!") but still, while thinking of twenty three as two lots of ten and three is so logical to me it just prompts unsureness from her. Maybe I need to draw columns for hundreds, tens and units and show her written down. Or maybe I’ve got it wrong (not unlikely). Is there an easy way? If only she didn’t ask.

Master R wanted to know which part of him we made first, he thought it might be his private parts. He seems to think Daddy did most of the making of him which could be in response to me blowing up the part that the Daddy plays when he first found out that he wouldn’t oneday be able to have babies himself. I told him we grew his heart first so he said "Oh, did you stick my bits on afterwards then?" I might need to rephrase some of my simple explainations.

Ms R has been printing certificates from a Thomas game. Very proud she is of all her certificates. She says she can’t wait until she’s old enough to learn to drive a car, that it’ll be really exciting and that she expects she’ll get a car for her grown-up birthday present. I explained that cars are very expensive and that she really needs to start saving now. She’s asked if there’s any money left over from the holiday if she can have it to start saving.

Master R has been talking about spiders alot lately. He knows all about spider webs and why I hoover them down and is very interested in the graphic detail relating to the catching and eating of flies. Yuk.

Dad asked when Ms R will be going to school and I finally answered him properly (sort of). I said that Daddy wasn’t really fussed about her ever going but that I thought she’d probably want to go oneday but for the moment, all the while that we were able to meet her needs and it suited us as a family she might as well stay with us. He said "Fair enough" and walked away signalling the end of that conversation. I’m really pleased that I said something sensible instead of stuttering on about something irrelevant. I tried to make it sounds as though it was about us personally rather than an anti-school thing and that we were open to school as an option for if and when we needed.

Seems to have been a day of numbers!

Ms R made a table with the first three letters of our names down the left hand side and three columns, in the first she put our ages and in the next two she put a tick and then asked us to write what we like to eat. Apparently that was checking us into our holiday.

We went clothes shopping on the way to home ed group and Ms R was looking at handbags and telling me the prices of them all. I tried on a few items and Ms R made helpful comments like "Your bum looks very big" and "I think thats too small". It’s the first time I’ve been able to try clothes on without children moaning, crying, running off etc. They didn’t seem to get why the curtain was there though.

In the car she was pointing out the road numbers and asking questions about which numbered roads they lead onto.

Home ed group was great. Almost empty when we arrived which I think helped Master R settle in before the madness and noise started. They both made crowns out of green paper, glue and bits to stick on and then went off to play. Baby Annabell accompanied us in her pushchair and was pushed around by a little boy who got regularly checked on, stroked and patted by Ms R. She also took on the role of big sister to an older boy who’s big sister was not currently available to him. Quite amusing to watch and has me pondering the roles we subconsciously fall into. Master R appeared comfortable being part of that group of children, they all went off into another room and when I went to check on them I couldn’t go in until I said the password. Thankfully Master R told me that the password was ‘Friends’ which I thought was a wonderful password. I wonder how much of a role The Secret Seven played in that game, what I like is that it seems to be encouraging inclusion rather than the exclusions that I’ve seen in previous games like "You can’t be in our club because you are not the right age/gender" etc. Master R and I consumed lovely pancakes but neither children wanted any part in helping to make them. We talked about batter (having made mini dough-nuts the other day and knowing we were having yorkshire pudding with our dinner) and Ms R is now an expert in that field.

We popped in to visit my Dad and Ms R requested to stay while I went off to do the shopping. He agreed so Master R and I raced home to get Daddy and we went on a rare trip just the three of us. I don’t think Master R has had many opportunities to have us both to himself and certainly enjoyed being the centre of all our attention. He’s such a happy and appreciative little boy, thanking Daddy for taking us shopping to buy yummy food and telling us both at least a hundred times how much he loves us.

We got back to find Ms R playing games on Dads computer and printing out certificates. He was impressed that she could type her own name without any help.

Daddy had cooked a lovely roast and we watched a new Buzz Lightyear film. Ms R was asking three times table questions, wanting to know what three threes were, four threes, five threes etc. Not sure why, maybe because the aliens had three eyes.

I stayed awake long enough to read bedtime stories.

I missed most of Sunday going to bed at nine in the morning and being woken up at five in the evening.

Apparently they went to an indoor play area with their cousins and then had dinner at Nanny and Grandads house.

Once I was up Daddy and I snuck into the kitchen for a catch-up and the Rs followed us, climbing onto the worktops so they could join in at our level. We were discussing things we needed to take on holiday. I mentioned that it might be better if Baby Annabell went into a suitcase rather than Ms R carrying her for the journey. Daddy seemingly wasn’t aware quite how important Baby Annabell is to a certain person and said she couldn’t come at all but the Rs could take a soft toy instead. Ms R crumpled into a devastated heap and sobbed huge great tears into me while I pulled faces at Daddy and whispered into her ear. Daddy, after looking quite surprised and baffled said that we’d find a way to take her. 

We had a couple of e-bay parcels arrive this morning which prompted a massive trying on session of summer clothes and mental list making.

In the afternoon we went to a birthday party held on a farm. On the way Master R wanted to know what spiders eat (I told him flies) and if they were good for them. Ms R walked onto the farm holding her nose and gagging but I made her remove her hand and pointed out that all we could smell was cooking smells coming from the restaurant. She held her nose again as we walked past the birds and rabbits but as soon as we hit the play area all fears of farmyard smells were forgotton. They clambered up and jumped off large straw bales and climbed across rope bridges and went down slides. Master R chatted to someone about a green balloon he wanted and then demanded that someone elses Daddy watch him while he did big jumps. Ms R felt intimidated by a two year old and his brother who pointed at her and called her ’stinky’ so we introduced ourselves to them and made friends and she no longer felt intimidated. I suggested that if anyone pointed and call her stinky again she just point back and tell them she is not stinky in a very loud voice. Ms R found a bigger boy who was not part of the group and had fun playing with him for a while. We did hen and guinea-pig meeting which Ms R opted out of and then visited pigs, goats, tyre swings and go-karts. All the children sat and ate round the table. Master R dropped his drink so I poured him another and he told me later that he hadn’t cried but he thought he was going to.

On the way home we popped in to see Mum and Nana.

Ms R dug out some kebab sticks and frisbees and then used them to perform plate spinning style circus tricks.

Ms R referred to some Elvis Presley as ‘a beautiful noise’.

We met up with friends at an indoor play area. Unfortunately the friend who Ms R requested to see was poorly and didn’t make it but other friendships were strengthened. We played and chatted for about four hours and then grabbed a take-away on the way home for dinner.